3rd Sunday of Ordinary Time Homily

Many people like to hold on to their stuff. To prove the point, I was wondering how many self-storage complexes, you know those long buildings that look like a bunch of garages, there are here on the Lower Cape. I went online and found there are ten between here and S. Yarmouth and up to Orleans. That means there are thousands of cubicles where people who have run out of space in their garages, attics, and basements can store their extra stuff. 

These last few weeks we have been preaching a series of homilies called Simplicity. It is about decluttering our lives. Clutter is those things we hang on to in life. They pile up out of habit, oversight, neglect, and insecurity. They are untidy, cause distractions, and get in the way of us enjoying access to what we really need in life.

There comes a time when we must take the bull by the horns and declutter life. We make the effort to remove what is useless and reorganize and reorder what is necessary so we can live in comfort, cleanliness and a more aesthetic environment so life can be more successful and enjoyable. 

When we declutter, we are forced to make value judgments. We decide what is important and keep them handy and accessible. Useful things to keep we store away for the time being, and what is impeding us from enjoying life we eliminate. 

Just as we declutter our physical space it is important to declutter other aspects of our lives. Last week we talked about decluttering our souls. We used St. Paul as an example of a disciple with an uncluttered soul trying to share his experience with the Corinthians. Paul told them to unclutter their souls and focus on their relationship with God. We spoke about how our prayer life can become cluttered and actually stand in the way of responding to God.

This week we’ll discuss decluttering our relationships. Humans are social by nature. The Book of Genesis tells us God recognized that at Creation.

The LORD God said: It is not good for the man to be alone.

I will make a helper suited to him.

It is good to be quiet and alone at times, but we need to interact with others if we really want to enjoy life. Social Scientists are telling us we are in an interpersonal relationship crisis. Loneliness and lack of interaction with others is a growing problem that existed even before the pandemic and the rise of social media. 

Good personal interaction is about more than just being around people or having them around us. We need people with whom we can have positive relationships. People are God’s fuel for our growth and physical and spiritual health. In our early childhood we had little choice in our relationships. They were mostly our family. As we went to school and then grew into adulthood, most of our relationships developed out of chance. They were co-workers, neighbors, and fellow soccer parents.

Those relationships are often good but we need real intentional ones. The right people are good but some of our relationships are with the wrong people who can lead us down the wrong path, get us into trouble, and drain our joy for life. We need to sort through our relationships, invest in the good ones, and back away from the bad. 

Every museum has staff called curators. Their job is to insure the valuable items of the collection are protected and dispose of items that no longer fit the collection’s purposes. We need to do the same with our relationships. We need to invest in the right people and unencumber ourselves from the wrong ones. 

To fully enjoy life, we need a network of people. It isn’t good to put too much emphasis on only one person, even if they are our spouse and love of our life. When we depend too much on one person to meet all our emotional needs, they just can’t do it.

As a Lenten initiative Holy Redeemer is promoting our Small Faith Sharing Groups. We encourage you to take the plunge, fill out one of the sign-up cards in the pew, and commit to a small group for the weeks of Lent. We aren’t asking you to commit for life, but only the season of Lent. We feel once you experience a small group you will want to continue even after Easter.

A healthy relationship is one where we share grace and truth. We get grace when we have people who support us with kindness, care, and compassion. We grow in truth when we have people in our lives who give us a reality check. They will speak the truth to us, motivate us to action, support our actions, help us grow through difficulties, and find solutions to problems. No one relationship can do all that. That is where a small group of people of with similar values helps.

Today’s gospel tells us of how when Jesus started his public ministry. He first sorted through his relationships. Matthew tells us Jesus moved from his hometown of Nazareth to the larger town of Capernaum. He put the relationship with his family on a back burner for a while. He cut contacts with people in Nazareth who wouldn’t accept a familiar figure like him as the Messiah. Jesus went to Capernaum, a larger town. It was a crossroads for much activity and offered the opportunity for more relationships.

Jesus went out and immediately began establishing them. 

As he was walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, 

Simon who is called Peter, and his brother Andrew, casting a net into the sea; 

they were fishermen.

He said to them, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

At once they left their nets and followed him.

He walked along from there and saw two other brothers, 

James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. 

They were in a boat, with their father Zebedee, mending their nets. 

He called them,

and immediately they left their boat and their father and followed him.

This was an unusual thing for a rabbi like Jesus to do at that time. Usually, perspective disciples chose the rabbi they wanted to follow, rather than a rabbi choosing his disciples. Jesus called these men not because they had amazing intellects, but because he saw they were so ordinary. He recognized their work ethic and that they were willing to make developing a relationship with Jesus their top priority. They were decisive and willing to give a relationship with Jesus preference even over their responsibilities to their father. They were willing to sacrifice for a life changing relationship with Jesus. 

Imitate Jesus and start working to declutter your relationships. Move away from the place that might be comfortable for now, to one where you can establish new life-giving friendships. Start by prioritizing the relationships where you receive what you need and can give what others deserve. Those that offer us grace and truth. Put some serious energy into strengthening those friendships. Recognize that some of our relationships are in transition. Like James and John’s with their father, they are entering a new season and stage of life. They aren’t ones we want to abandon but need to step back from for a while. After a little growth they will likely become important to us again.

Some relationships need to end. They are toxic to us. They are relationships that offer no exchange of grace or truth. There is a commercial on television, I’m not even sure what they are trying to sell, but it features Teddy Bridgewater, an NFL backup quarterback. A young woman is trying to get support from a friend who is completely distracted by her cellphone. In frustration she calls on Teddy to come in to be her back-up friend. Bridgwater is attentive and gives the young woman the feedback she needs from a good friend. That is how we need to declutter our relationships.

Right after this homily, a member of one of our small groups will witness to you how participating in a group helped them form relationships of grace and truth with other small group members. I hope you will fill out one of the sign-up cards at the end of the pew and become a member of a small group. Remember you are only pledging this for Lent.

This week, take stock of your relationships. Evaluate them and determine those that give you grace and truth. Prioritize making them stronger and more lifegiving. Settle on the relationships that you need to step back from for a while. They are good ones but one we can’t concentrate on right now. Bring the relationships that only cause you anxiety and sap your energy to an end. Use your energy to foster relationships that are full of grace and truth.